You know it's getting near Christmas in Croydon when a princely pop star battles an evil queen for a young girl's hand in marriage, while seven diminutive miners look on. Croydon's pantomime is up and running.
The production, in case you'd missed the giant posters around the town, is Snow White and the Seven Dwarfs, with former Pop Idol Gareth Gates in the Prince Charming role.
Rising musical theatre star Witney White plays her namesake Snow, and comic Jack Glanville is her best friend Muddles, an Ian Holloway sound-a-like who is head-over-heels in love with the fair princess.
Quinn Patrick returns to Fairfield once more as the pantomime dame, Nurse Nellie, and gets through nearly as many costumes as jokes.
Muddles and Nellie are the scene-stealing sidekick double act, with one rapid-fire, pun-filled sequence featuring vinyl records proving a highlight.
Gareth and Witney are the perfect pantomime pairing, and despite playing the straighter leading roles, they have a lot of license to have fun with their characters.
Paul Hendy's script is genuinely funny throughout, coupled with the blatantly bad puns and the so-bad-they're-good gags that are synonymous with panto.
And the jokes are not just for kids. Indeed, Gareth taking the mickey out of his stutter, a 'New Addington advent calendar' jibe, and several references to Pop Idol's kilt-wearing forgotten man Darius Danesh caters for a more mature demographic.
The dwarfs, named Sarge, Cheeky, Sniffly, Loopy, Striker, Groovy and Brian are a bit late in arriving, but are certainly more than your run-of-the-mill gang, walking in a circle with pickaxes and whistling 'High-Ho'.
Sarge insists on drumming, despite everyone telling him he can't (cue 'Oh yes he can!'), and turns out to be rather good, walloping the skins with flamboyant rhythmic gusto.
Striker, sporting a Crystal Palace shirt, proves to be decent with the ball at his feet, while the silent Loopy's acrobatics and cartwheels raised a few surprised eyebrows among the audience.
All the while, the wicked Queen Ivannah (Siani Owen) is plotting to kill Snow White after becoming incensed that she is no longer the fairest in the land.
Indeed, it's difficult to see what she was more concerned about, losing her title of fairest in the land or being threatened by the Prince that she 'will do pantomime in Bromley' if she doesn't mend her evil ways.
In terms of the production, there were one or two teething problems – the odd mic slip and the magic mirror (a very convincing look and sound-a-like of Simon Cowell, who was in Croydon himself with X Factor finalist Ben Haenow on Tuesday night) suffering problems with lip synching.
But the songs were polished – ranging from Love is an Open Door, from Frozen, to a medley of Madness hits, and had everyone clapping along in typical panto style.
On the whole, it is a wonderfully witty affair that has everything a family panto should have.
Oh, and everybody dresses up as Elvis.
